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FIRST TIME PARENTS

Joshua and Kirstin

Here is their story...

1- When did you both decide you wanted to do humanitarian work and why?
I (Josh) grew up in Christian faith and a big part of that was learning that we all have a responsibility for each other. Being a sensitive little fellow, I was always bothered by seeing the homeless or hearing about orphans so that's where it began. As for Kirstin, when she was in high school, her mom asked her if she wanted to go on a trip to the Dominican - she said yes.

2- When did you both decide you wanted to go through with an international adoption and why?
For me it was my late teens. I would hear stories of children living without families and thought that I would like to adopt one day. This was talked about quite extensively when Kirstin and I started dating and she was 100% on board. In fact, it didn't take long before she became unbelievably passionate about the idea and eventually became the driving force that turned our thoughts into reality. Literally, it wouldn't have happened without her.

3- What have been the biggest struggles you've faced with your international adoption and how have you both overcome them?
We are best friends - who don't fight. We can count on two hands, all of the times that we have been in disagreement. More than half of those have been related to adoption. The paperwork is relentless, the fees pile up, and the waiting is difficult - and that's just when things go according to plan.
We hit some major roadblocks along the way. The one that I am comfortable sharing publicly (although I'll share anything in private) was with regards to the new president in Kenya. When he was elected, he moved to shut down international adoptions (I don't think he has kind views of western countries). The short of it is that we were caught in politics and ended up waiting for a year to be ignored in the end (losing substantial fees in the process).
When we had to switch programs, it felt like we were starting over to a point. Many documents needed updating, it was going to take much more time, and we not only lost fees but also had to come up with new payments. The feeling at the time was of devastation, which turned into anger (more so for me).
One evening we were sitting on our deck and a song we had never heard came on. "All they wanted was to tear me right down to the ground... But I'm feeling alright now, yeah I'm feeling alright". We both looked at each other and began to cry. The line captured our feelings and when we looked up the lyrics later on, we realized the song was about a change of scenery and a long journey ahead.
It is through conversation, supportive family and friends, Kirstin's determination, and through some solid playlists that we have made it through to the other side - thank God.

4-Looking back, any regrets, anything you would have changed, anything you're really thankful for?
I'm thankful for red wine. Ha! But seriously, Kirstin has been unreal through all the busyness and it wouldn't have happened without her. We just have the best chats over a bottle of red wine so I had to put that in here!
Hmmm... With regards to regret. It was hard to make sense of the seemingly wasted years and money but being placed with our son Asher, things are beginning to make sense.

5- What's in your future? - Future plans with regards to being a parent, doing more humanitarian work, more international adoptions…
Well as I write this, I'm 4 weeks into being a dad. It's a tad overwhelming being a first time parent and the fact that they are a toddler with previous loss and pain adds to the challenge. While we always talked about adopting two, I will just be continuing to tread water and get back to you on that!
As for any sort of humanitarian or cause work, I began a job in Toronto and moved to he big city in January. Much of my time has been taken up with this new job and pursuit some night classes but humanitarian work and causes is where my heart is. I hope to always find my way back to some sort of volunteering or committee. In the meantime I'll continue to try and work on shopping more responsibly, buying fair trade when available, and keeping my eyes open to lend a hand when needed.



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