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Aim to be “un - %!#& - with - able”

#thebestisyettocome2021

 "Un%!#&withable (adj.) When you are truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you." 

A few months back, at the beginning of July, I was sitting on an Emirates flight, headed back to Canada. As I sat comfortably accross my 3 seats (Thank you COVID!) and listened attentively to some personal growth videos (by Vishen Lakhiani from Mindvalley) available on the in-flight entertainment system, I heard the word 'un%!#&withable' for the very first time. I'm generally not known for using profanity, but (so) this word definitely caught my attention and it ended up sticking in my mind. 

Fast forward a couple weeks later, towards the end of August, and you could find me sitting around reading the popular book called 'The subtle art of not giving a %!#&'. 
Around the same time, I began attending some hypnotherapy sessions during which my therapist and I revisited some painful memories from my past and discussed, amongst many other things, my low self-esteem, my fears of rejection as well as my desire to be recognized, praised for, accepted, wanted, loved and cared for. 

Attending therapy sessions, reading books, listening to personal growth videos/podcasts and opening up to close friends/relatives and of course my hypnotherapist has led me to do some major inner work. Little by little, I have been moving away from worrying so much about what others think about me and I have been learning to accept and love who I am. 


With that said, truly accepting who you are and truly loving yourself (all the good and the bad) isn't an easy process. 

For me, personally, it's been a very emotional journey, but one I will forever be grateful for.

Here are some of the things I have found to be very beneficial as I’ve been aiming to be ‘un%!#&withable’:

1- Dig into my past, try to understand some of the reasons why I am the way I am (e.g. childhood/past experiences), "box up" some negative memories and "forgive" people who have caused me pain, whether they intended to or not (remember, everyone has their own story to deal with and often hurt people, hurt people), so that I can move forward. 

2- Not only decide on what means the most to me (e.g. my values/morals/purpose) but also be assertive and confident despite what others’ opinions may be. 

3- Allow myself to stop, breathe, take time to reflect, feel raw emotions (both positive and negative) and talk (to myself) through situations that may cause me stress and pain.

4- Remind myself that my future and my happiness are entirely my responsibility and that I need to put up some boundaries for myself and stop making decisions based on others thoughts and feelings (I recently read that if you feel guilty about something, it's likely to be the best decision for yourself.).

5- Learn to forgive myself and to see my 'mistakes' as opportunities to learn and to grow (After all, the greatest sense of happiness and accomplishment often comes from overcoming obstacles). 

I anticipate many more moments of pain, criticism and non-acceptance, but I am hopeful that if I continue on the path I’m on, working towards improving my self-talk, believing I am enough and removing limits for myself as a result of the fear of rejection and failure, a bright future lays ahead. 
"Un%!#& yourself. Be who you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your %!#&ing shine."

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