The smile you earn

“There is no better feeling than making yourself proud.”

Someone recently asked me, “What’s something small that always makes you smile?” At first, I had no idea how to answer. But after sitting with the question for a bit, I realized something: the thing that never fails to make me smile is doing something I once thought I couldn’t do.

There’s a special kind of joy in surprising yourself; whether it’s traveling alone, surviving a brutal workout, or pulling yourself back up after hitting one of life’s low points. My strength, especially the kind that shows up when things get hard, never stops making me proud.

This weekend, my inner strength showed up again.

I had a 15 km race on my calendar, and to be honest, the timing wasn’t great. I’d been sick for a few days, hadn’t exercised, struggled with consistent sleep, and had been enduring a stressful workload. Not exactly ideal race prep. Even on race morning, I wasn’t sure if or how my body would hold up; I took some meds, sipped warm tea on my way there, and just hoped for the best.

I had to tell myself that I wasn’t running for a personal best. I wasn’t running for a place on the podium. I was simply running to test my mind. And, let me tell you, my mind carried me through.

Despite several factors working against me, I not only finished the race with a decent pace and time, I finished strong. Now, my time wasn’t exactly what I would’ve aimed for under normal circumstances, but I still placed 4th female overall (48), and 27th out of all male and female runners (119).

I’m usually not one to promote pushing through illness, but this run reminded me of something powerful: I’m capable of more than I think. And that feeling, that fire, is what keeps me smiling. Here’s to the next challenge that proves me right.

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