The View Isn’t The Point

"I've spent enough years becoming her to finally enjoy being her."

Recently, I found myself standing at Aura Sky Pool in Dubai, looking out over a pretty remarkable city.

The view was breathtaking; the kind of view people travel across the world to see.

Of course, I took some photos. As I scrolled through them afterward, I found myself sitting with a few different thoughts and feelings.

First, gratitude; for the opportunities I've been given, the experiences I've had, and the cards I've been dealt.

Then, pride; in the journey I've been on and the person I've worked so hard to become.

And finally, vulnerability; an uncomfortable feeling that seems to show up every single time I think about sharing photos of myself, especially photos that feel a little more personal, such as those in a bikini.

The longer I looked through my pictures, the less I found myself thinking about the view and the more I found myself thinking about the woman in them.

Maybe it's because I recently ‘celebrated’ another birthday, but the longer I looked at my photos, the more reflective I became about the journey I’ve been on, the lessons I’ve learned and the woman I’ve become, (and am still becoming).

As I've gotten older, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on confidence and what it actually means.

For a number of years, confidence felt tied to achievement, to proving something, to accomplishing the next goal, overcoming the next challenge, or earning the next success.

But age has a way of changing your perspective.

These days, I'm learning that confidence has less to do with proving and more to do with peace.

Peace with who you are.

Peace with where you've been.

Peace with the fact that life rarely unfolds exactly as planned.

The older I get, the more I realize that confidence isn't about attention, perfection, or even constant success. It's about trusting yourself enough to stop seeking permission to be exactly who you are.

When I look at the woman in the photos, I see one who has survived heartbreak, depression, uncertainty, reinvention, loss, growth, joy, success, failure, and all the beautifully messy experiences that shape a life.

I see a woman who is always growing, learning, evolving, and who understands that becoming yourself is a lifelong process.

The view was incredibly beautiful, but that’s not the point.

The point is realizing how much lighter life feels when you stop measuring yourself against who you think you should be and start appreciating who you already are, how far you've come, what you've overcome and the person you've become.